My spiritual journey started about a year ago with a series of traumatic and unexpected events: first, I had just officially (and reluctantly) finalized a divorce after seven years of marriage, followed almost sequentially by an internal power struggle at my global management consulting firm (which, after several months of fighting, I lost and was “gracefully” requested to leave of my own volition…as if I had a choice).
My world, which I had spent years carefully constructing piece by piece, my entire foundation had crumbled at its base and I was left confused, alone, and empty…trying desperately to rediscover the lost meaning that had consumed my very core due to these occurrences.
At first, I told myself that all was fine (complete denial); that I had built my world from nothing once before and would do it once again – with or without meaning, purpose, or direction, to accept what many people within big city environments (I lived and worked in New York City, USA) view as being the necessity of life … money … to focus my energies within that area and become numb to every other sensation in life.
But, as I soon learned, I am not a solitary person. I do not gain fulfillment by being alone. I thrive and excel in being surrounded by the energy and force of those around me, by enlightened spirits whose hearts irradiate light and whose smiles and warm dispositions fill the darkest of voids within the soul. So, for months, I walked the meaningless path, falling deeper and deeper into depression and despair until a dear friend of mine, someone I had not seen for years, was visiting New York on her way back to Asia and asked if we could meet. Yearning desperately for the company of another person, I enthusiastically responded to her request and invited to host her in my home. When I first saw her, I was in awe at the energy, strength, force, and light that seemed to emanate through her entire being. I felt a longing and a desire to experience that same peace that she now so easily resonated through every pore of her existence. It was at that moment, where the last strand of my inhibition broke, that I found my way to Mahasiddha yoga school and my first immersion workshop. Somewhat resistant, somewhat frightened, VERY skeptical at first, I eventually registered for the 6-day event, booked my ticket to Chiang Mai, and hoped for the best. I was not disappointed.
From the moment I arrived at the Mahasiddha Yoga and entered the room, my body was awash with the warmth, acceptance, generosity, and openness of the people around me (definitely unexpected), and although I entered the experience with extreme trepidation, it quickly melted away with each smile, embrace, and heartfelt word that came from the attendees. Not only did I receive support from my newly made friends during this challenging time, but the teachers, Blandine and Uriel, exuded such blessed grace, knowledge, and practical experience that the techniques they provide their students (e.g., physical yoga asanas, theory, history, practice, real world application) proved invaluable to empower one in navigating the torrential waters of what, many people may blindly accept as the reality of the world. It’s difficult to put into words how intensely a 6-day experience changed my entire perception and opened my life and heart to the vast sea of this existence. It heighted my senses to intensify my experiences and empower me with the sheer willpower and force to shape my world and life to how I’ve always dreamed it could be. I may still have a long way to go as I continue on the tantric path to spiritual enlightenment, but at least I now know it exists, I now know it is possible, I now know I can and will get there…and I now know I will not be alone … because my brothers, sisters, friends, lovers, and teachers (like Uriel and Blandine) will be right beside me to provide guidance, support, and love along with way.